They -- whoever 'they' are -- say that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Why is that? What is it that causes us to want what others have?
Perhaps it is a desire to avoid stagnation. People generally like some things to change, and unless you're an overly egotistical person, it's natural to assume that you don't have the best of everything and that there are other people who have things better off than you, be it material goods, jobs, relationships, abilities, etc. Constantly seeking to better one's self is usually considered a good thing™, but how much of it is justifiably worth seeking and how much of it is the desire to end stagnation?
Perhaps we want what others have because they seem happier with aspects of their lives than we do with our own? But what evidence do we actually have that simply striving for what others have will solve our own issues? Are other people really "better off" than you, or might they have simply learned how to cope with the trials and tribulations of their lives in a way that results in an outward appearance that appeals to you?
To dig deeper into the metaphor, I submit this for your consideration: the grass on the other side of the fence may be a deeper, more lush shade of green that you find appealing, but it may not actually be healthier than your grass. It may just be the appeal of something exotic, something different than your own that is calling to you. We must remember that both sides of the fence may have different soil compositions, may have different access to hydration and nutrients, the grass seed may be a different variety than yours, and they may have been fertilized in different ways, and at different times (if at all).
So, it's not as simple as looking at the more appealing shade of green and desiring that. You have to take into account all of the various factors that contribute to that patch of turf's appearance and decide if it's worth throwing away all of the work you've put into maintaining your own patch of sod and dive right into something that your green thumb may not be capable of nurturing.
Accepting and embracing your own style of grass for what it is, and what you've put into it, may make that shade of green on the other side of the fence seem like it's not all you imagined it could be.
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Or perhaps the grass is actually greener on your side, but the solar zenith angle at the time of observation creates the illusion of greenerness.
You're not Stephen Colbert, and as such, you're not allowed to make up your own words. ;)
This topic is a great way to describe Buddhism in a nutshell. Desire is the cause of all suffering. We seek to sate desire by satisfying it, going to the greener grass, but once we're there, we become nostalgic and want the grass we just left. Desire is always want of something you don't have. That's why, no matter how rich one gets, no matter how strong one becomes, no matter how powerful they are, they're still miserable. Some celebrities want a simple life free from celebdom, others wish they were celebrities.
When we cease to desire, we cease to suffer. We stop wanting the other grass, and can accept the patch of grass we have and learn to love it. Even further, if our grass is destroyed, we can still be peaceful because we don't desire anything.
The Buddha's teaching is to simply see the world for what it is. This process of the grass being greener on the other side exists in countless other metaphors. If we don't learn to accept everything as is, to cease desiring, we're bound to a cycle, an existence of suffering because we always want more, even things we've intentionally left behind. Forget pros and cons; detach. Then peace can be found independent of our circumstance.
Those are all good thoughts and things to keep in mind, and I agree with many of them.
But I think we must also be careful not to blindly accept everything for the way it is, otherwise good change cannot occur. Examples include women's suffrage, then end of legal discrimination, man's desire to fly like the birds, etc.
As with anything worth doing in life, there is a fine line between seeking noble progress and harmful desires.
I agree with your post 100%, but would like to clarify mine.
Accepting everything the way it is does not mean we should sit around and do nothing; just lay down and die so to speak. Trying to make positive change is a worthy pursuit. However, in such pursuits we must be careful not to suffer for the pursuit.
"I will not suffer for the way things are right now. I will try to make things better because I believe in living with compassion. However, I will not suffer while I try to make positive change, and if my efforts never bear fruit, I will not suffer. I live without desire. I do what is right, what is necessary, what is compassionate."
Living compassionately is not the same as living with a desire to help others (another fine line). Those who want to help but can't, suffer. Those who live compassionately help when there is help to be done, but do not suffer regardless the outcome.
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